U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize