Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
