just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
