1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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