we're blogging at a bar
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
