Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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