Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
