do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
