Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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