nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize