Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize