Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
