My friends, they love my intelligence
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
