Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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