Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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