two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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