So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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