there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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