problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
