A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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