okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize