well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
