respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
