Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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