I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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