I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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