I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize