just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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