i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
