This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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