I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
