so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
