Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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