So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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