Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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