The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
