I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
