My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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