so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
