And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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