The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
