Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize