i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
