I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
