How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
