I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
