you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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