Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
