you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
