so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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