She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
