Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
