I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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