What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The air was thick with penises
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize