You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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